The Hard Stuff...

I talked a little bit about what was going on in my life - my personal, I am a girl and yearly things are not fun life - here

And I continued on the story here


For the first time in over 2 years - going in for tests every 2-3 months, having a few operations - I got the news...for the first time everything came back normal. To say I am hopeful, optimistic and very happy is an understatement. I have undergone quite a few treatments, lots of blood work and just a lot of heartache to be told that I am ok. I have to re-do the tests every 3 months for a year before I can be truly cleared...but this was hurdle number 1. I got a "normal" result.

Truth is -Cancer scares me. I've been terrified for the past 2 years. The cancerous cells scare me. I feel that no matter how happy I appear I know inside I have been so sad. So slowly I hope this is recovery. I hope this is where I can let go of the fear and have the knowledge that I will be ok - because for 2 years I've prayed, hoped and willed it to go away. I don't know which procedure worked or which didn't. I just know it was all worth it. I was told that so far I shouldn't have any problems having children as long as it stays away. That we "got it early". So I am happy. More deliriously happy than I truly think I have ever been..but on that 1 year mark - in 1 year I hope to be even happier. I hope I can say it is truly gone and out of my life.


I just try not to think about this stuff, which is why I rarely write about it. But today - today is a great day.