Saturday, April 2, 2011

sad

Back in January 2009 I wrote about something somewhat personal. You can read about it here.

So I've had to go every 6 months to have this checked out...but this time it came back worse and now they will be doing another prodecure as it showed cancerous cells. As my doctor has said, I am very lucky that I don't have any STDs (um thanks? thanks for that Doc!) but apparently STDs (mainly HPV) could make this situation even worse. So that's the highlight I guess- yay no STDs! (not that I was worried at all)-  I guess she was just trying to make me feel like everything could be worse? I'm not sure.

But anyway, later this month I will be seeing the oncologist and have a few other tests done. I was trying to explain my emotions but really the only word I can come up with is sad. I feel like my body is failing me - I didn't do anything wrong and yet this is happening. It just makes me sad. I have been trying to just think of the positives of life, how if it is bad, we caught it quickly, so that is always a good thing. How it could be nothing, but mostly - I just try to not think of it - which is nearly impossible.

Anyway...since I do use this as my "journal"...I just wanted to write it all down. It somehow helps.

5 comments:

katherinebee said...

I'm so sorry - I hope that they figure out what's going on and can solve it quickly. Keeping you in my prayers!

Mr Lonely said...

take care ~~~ visiting here with a smile ~~~

Ann said...

I'm sorry you got this disressing news....just take it one step at a time. praying for a good result!

Megan said...

Praying for you to get throught this!

Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is.

Corine said...

I just "met" you here today... already I'm sorry about what you are going through.

You have such spunk for life, but feel things deeply and that applies to both the good and the bad... am I right? (You remind me of me :) So bad news is sad news, because everyting is felt.

Remember that your life is AWESOME (it seems to be from here :o). You have old friends praying for you (I saw their comments), and one new one, right here (I love everyone... can't be helped! I'm a friend to everyone, and have a weakness for people who are enthusiastic about life, as I am) so you and your health issue are now on my prayer list beside the bed. ;)
Corine :D